What Inspired me to get into Fashion?

For the past five years now, I have really advanced in my fashion life. As I've been progressing further, I decided to take a look back to when I began to get into fashion.

How did it all start? When did my transformation begin? It began in the 7th grade.

At the time, I just discovered anime and manga, and I was hooked! I didn't have many friends, so most of the time at school, I was reading manga, drawing, or playing video games on my own. One day at the library, I found volume 2 of Shugo Chara. I heard of it back when I used to be on Flipnote Hatena. (Ah, good times!) I was too excited to wait for volume 1, so I just read it anyways. As I flipped through the pages, I started to connect with the main character, Amu Hinamori.

During that phase of my life, I was struggling to find out what it is that I wanted to do and who I wanted to be. For the first few years of my life, my persona was distorted and was going in many directions. People began to spread rumors about me that I felt did not reflect who I was, and I felt that I did not give off the impression I wanted to have on others. When I first read Shugo Chara, I shed a tear when I realized that Amu was going through the exact same thing. 

As I got further into Shugo Chara, I came to really identify with Amu and become obsessed with her sense of style! She really expressed herself through her clothes, and I'll admit to being envious of her closet full of the cutest clothes I ever saw!

While her general style was cute and punk put together, I was most taken by the more frilly "Lolita" outfits such as the third picture above.

She gave off a bold impression with the things she liked to wear, and it led people to think highly of her. It was then that I decided to try experimenting with my own clothes. I did not know anything about fashion whatsoever, and I didn't have much to work with except various red ribbons, scarves, and scraps of cheap jewelry. So I just threw stuff together and tried to make it look cool. Of course, I expected people at school to be a little weirded out. What I didn't expect was becoming a bigger target for bullying and hate than I already was. Still, I kept experimenting more and more, and I kept trying to find which style was right for me.

"No matter what changes, I'll still be me, and I can be whoever I want to be."

-Amu Hinamori

A little before going into 8th Grade, I got into Japanese Gothic culture. From my point of view, American Gothic fashion and culture is seen as really dark, edgy, and more horror based, while Japanese Goth is a bit more on the cute, elegant, romantic, and feminine side. I was first motivated to look more into it than I already knew after watching Black Butler for the first time.

Black Butler is basically everything I wanted in an anime! The music, the clothing, the tea and sweets, the beautiful yet deadly supernatural beings, and of course, the butlers! It is my all-time favorite anime, and I highly recommend this to anyone who loves anything to do with occult, mysteries, the supernatural, and the Victorian Era! (I have also read the manga which is perfection! I'm not all the way caught up yet, so NO SPOILERS!)

The thing I loved the most about Black Butler was obviously, the fashion! The heels, the drapes, the frills, everything! (And let's not forget about that pink dress!)

I was already fascinated by Goth and Elegant culture in general even before getting into anime. (I watched a lot of Tim Burton movies and read fairy tales and such when I was younger.) I just got pulled deeper into the fashion and lifestyle aspect of it all.

“I prefer to have my nightmares with open eyes.”

-Ciel Phantomhive

My freshman year of high school was when I was sure that I wanted to be an elegant lady. However, since I couldn't afford the look I wanted to have, neither did I have enough time in the morning to don it all every day, I got most of my outfit influence during that time from prep school uniforms that I would sometimes see in anime, manga, or J-Dramas.

I was still in high school at the time, so I thought the prep school look was the most appropriate. My teachers and the faculty loved it,-and I have little doubt that the vice principal may have considered uniforms at one point-while most of the other students associated it with things that were more raunchy. Unfortunately, that is just how it goes with experimenting with fashion sometimes.

While anime was pretty much a huge influence on my fashion life, so was music. Music has played such a HUGE part in my life, especially in my fashion life. The biggest influence as far music incorporated with fashion goes was ALI PROJECT. They're a Neo-Classical duo with one singer and lyrics writer, and one composer and musician: Arika Takarano and Mikiya Katakura.

My singing style leans a lot more towards a more Operatic style, but nobody likes to listen to Opera anymore as far as I know, so when I first started listening to ALI PROJECT, I fell instantly in love with their style of neo-classical music. I love Takarano's voice and Katakura's instrumental style. Most of all, I loved Takarano's extravagant ensembles!

ALI PROJECT's music videos were beautiful in every way! I am completely in love with their music and their dark yet romantic and regal approach to their image! She inspired me to give myself the self-image that I needed: A Queen without a King.

" 'I am a special maiden.' It’s okay for you to think that, you know. Even if there are strangers who look away and snicker at you because your skirt is too poufy, or because the ribbon adorning your hair is too big, you don’t have to let it bother you. Sure, it’s aggravating that there are still some confused people who see Gothic and Lolita as unemotional, cheap cosplay, but you should just remain confident and stand tall."

-Arika Takarano

It wasn't until just three years ago that I finally jumped into Lolita fashion after taking interest in it three years prior to that time. I knew it was going to be something that I was going to stick with. I spent the past two years experimenting with different Lolita substyles. I used to be into over-the-top cutesy sweet Lolita, but then I thought, "Yeah it's cute, but not on me." (It was like an emo phase, except with rainbows, glitter and unicorns.)

So I got into old-school Gothic Lolita a little later, and I felt that it really suited me. My friends  then started to notice that I pretty much embodied the Lolita character trope that is often seen in anime, manga, and video games.

I just so happened to identify the most with this character trope because...
1. I wear frills in any and every situation.
2. Cake and sweets are my life.
3. I am pretty introverted and independent.

This took me back to my creative inspirational roots in my interest in anime, manga, and video games. More than often, whenever I would start a new anime, manga, or game, I would notice that there was almost always a Lolita or Lolita-esque character. She is always sure of herself, and trusts nothing and no one but her own instincts. She comes off as snobby and picky, but she is a perfectionist and settles for nothing less than what she wants. She hates being pushed around which gives her a superiority complex that keeps her from having a low self-esteem. She's blunt and straightforward, but it is because she doesn't lie just to make herself or other people feel better. Her ambitions are set in stone, and no one is able to keep her from achieving what she has set out to do. She does everything her own way and never does what anyone else prefers her to do. No matter what kind of situation she's in, even in the worst situations, she's always adorning herself in frills as if it was her second skin, very much like Momoko Ryukasaki from Kamikaze Girls!

Seeing that there are so many characters in Lolita fashion that there is a legit trope for it really makes me feel like I'm not alone, and that there are people, real or fiction, that I can relate to. It really helped me to figure out what I am most comfortable with and how I wanted to express that. I wanted to take the influence from this classic anime trope and express that through my clothes, so Old School Lolita is the style that suited me perfectly!

With its roots from Japan, and its influence from history's most elegant time periods, Old School really reflected the dark and romantic, edgy and punk-rock, yet classically feminine fashion rebellion against the norms of what an adult lady was expected to be in modern society. Although it is a simple style compared to most Lolita substyles, it it what makes the style a classic. To me, it truly reflects the Gothic and Punk movements of the 80s and 90s, where people decided to try doing things differently instead of following social norms and doing what was expected of them. 

Through fashion, I finally knew what I wanted to do, what I wanted to say, and who I wanted to be.

I wanted to do things my own way, and live my life how I want to. I wanted to be the kind of person who does whatever they please, ignoring the pressure and harsh opinions of others. If I want to dress this way, then I will. No one has the right to tell me otherwise.

To most people, fashion is just clothes and makeup, but to me, it was the key to figuring out what kind of person I am. It was because of fashion that I immersed myself into a lifestyle that I feel comfortable with living. It was because of fashion that I built up so much confidence that I didn't have before. It was because of fashion that I feel like I can do things that I doubted I could ever do before.

So next time you cringe at old photos of yourself from middle school or high school, remember that it's okay to go through a few phases to find who you are!

"When you find something precious, you have to hold on to it with all your might and never let it go, whatever else you may lose. After all, there are lots of people who die without ever finding something that's really precious to them."

-Novala Takemoto

Thank you for reading,

-Blandis